Congratulations on finally coming to your senses about a swimming pool!  After all, it is clear you have successfully NOT adhered to the age old adage of pool ownership, in that “A pool is a wonderful thing for someone else to have.”


Perhaps you may be wondering what exactly brought you to this point.  It may be you are looking to sell the home or maybe you are buying a home after you have sold a home that had a pool.  It could be you are eager to break in your new non-orthopedic shoe inserts around a freshly mowed back yard that is, now that you have contacted us for our services, freshly devoid of a pool.  It could be that you are a secret agent for some other country that has a natural aversion to pools and waterboarding.  Who cares?


Well, we do actually.  We are in the pool removal business.  If you contact us about installing a pool, we will laugh at you over the phone while reminding you about our business.


If the aforementioned reasons do not help sway your opinion on why you don’t need a pool, consider the following reasons as good ones to avoid pool ownership.


  1. You can’t swim. This needs no further explanation.


  1. Owning a pool is like a child that never, ever leaves home. I don’t mean like go off to college and come back for a while to find a job child either. I mean one that NEVER leaves and has a string of laundry and crud that is thrown all over the place all the time.


  1. Pools cost money. Most people think, “I will get a pool, and life will be grand!” Most people also dream of winning the lottery and not being bitten by a shark.  Pools are money pits.  This means chemicals, more chemicals, water, salt, chemicals, odd pumps, electronics and shark repellent Bat-Spray ™ (Okay, I may fudge a bit on the water.  Rain is free.)  All of this has to be maintained regularly, just like the child thing I mentioned.


  1. Pools bring people to your house. If you are a person that likes company all the time, robbing your pantry, using all of the clean towels, dripping water on the freshly cleaned floors and carpet and generally making pests of themselves, more power to you! You see, those people remember the adage. Do you?  Of course not, go back up to the top and read it again.  See?  I told you.


  1. Pools are only good certain times of the year. Unless you live in deep south Florida (Motto: Dang it’s hot here!) the only time you will use a pool is in the summer. Exactly when all the kids are out of school, have nothing to do and are looking for the perfect pantry to raid.  Congrats!


So there you have it.  Five solid reasons you should have us come over and remove your pool.  Call us soon.  If we don’t answer, we are at the store looking for more shark repellent.